Dear wonderful wordpress viewers,
just to inform you, this is an old blog post that I wrote when I felt more upset than I ever did in my entire life.
It was during a dark period of regret and I decided to release this privately published post of mine because right now, It is what I wrote and I shouldn’t feel shameful about it.
So sue me if you think this is bad.
August, 29, 2012
I think it’s about time I break my silence.
In case you probably noticed I haven’t been writing as much ( If you really care about my blog you PROBABLY did notice). Well due to some unseen circumstances that happened lately, I found myself not being able to express myself how I usually can.
My writer’s block became such a big issue, It is appalling, because of how unfortunate it became to the point that apparently I can’t express myself anymore since I have a few eyes on me.
But well I don’t really care about them. The more they view my blog, the more views I get. But you know what I hate the most about people sometimes?
They have a tendency of banding together and acting innocent whenever there is a person at fault, I don’t know how to explain it but it feels like the Scarlet Letter.
if you ever read it or if you’ve seen Easy A, I feel like Hester Prynne and her modern version Olive Penderghast ( played the awesome Emma Stone).Accused because of something normal that happens in life.
People expect you to burn in hell for what you did, But hey aren’t they all going there sooner or later? it feels like the fucking Salem Witch trials here and frankly I find it silly because when some men do this sort of stuff to their GFS even their wives they act as if it is OK.
Hell they can even say it without flinching, It’s not even a big deal for them! and it’s not like the people around you don’t have faults either, but when your dirty laundry gets aired, they act so unprofessionally CLEAN.
Believe me, Even actors become speechless at how bad their Mother Mary is, Maybe I should wear an “A” on my chest and get it over with already, because maybe that’s what society dictates.
but if I ever did wear an “A” that would be one of the biggest understatements of the century, Why? it’s because my breast size increased from a B to C cup already and I’m not the only “A” in the world because people can do the same thing I did.
When the reason is that their partner was being a complete wanker after 1 month of “Lovey – Doveyness, And I don’t understand why I still want to talk to him, he caused a lot of things to happen to me the Following being:
3.Depression(been craving for chocolate fudge cookie brownies every time he yells at me).
4.Humiliating me in public (oh that one).
5.Hurting me in public(bruise on my arm wouldn’t go away for days).
6.Divulging every little secret I have to other people and using it against me.
7.The creme de la creme on top of it all, the fact that he MOCKS it.
It does hurt to know that my blog is being dissected by some people who think of me as TOO liberal, When the question is: When has liberalism ever been wrong? Sure what I did is bad(cheating that’s how he termed it even though I never did anything with the guy).
But my god, how can you not be tempted to do that? your so called Boyfriend plays more on the physical side of life, has sex with you unprotected despite the fact that he knows you are scared of being pregnant and his methods are so careless.
But no he constantly assures you ” I’m GOOD at this”, and to make it worse he’s NOT even sure about what he’s doing.
He’s just one of those guys and up until now I don’t think he understands that what he did before is the catalyst of this catastrophe and one of these days I hope he sees that, and I just realized it as I write this that I don’t need him!
Hats off to that!
*Pardon for the crude writing… and if it seems too personal, My best friend told me it was before that’s why I only privately published it. but after reading Hal Zina Bennett’s book “WRITE STARTS” it’s always about writing from the heart and letting go of the need to always be perfect.*