“More than a fc*k buddy relationship gone wrong.”

You’ve seen it, It has happened to you and yet WHY THE FUCK are you letting it happen to you?! ( this just doesn’t go for me but for everyone) You know you had that icky sweet feeling of romance bubbling up inside when you meet someone new. Its like the time when you get a new toy for Christmas but after a month or so. you get bored of it even though you swear you won’t. Am I really just another toy for you? in fact, let me rephrase are all of us just toys for  one another? you may tell me that yes you will never get bored of me but what is this? you ignore me and you barely talk to me and finally you’ll do the one thing that hurt me the most previously and I think this has happened to everyone you’ll finally say good bye to me without even the word “Good” next to it just the word BYE would be sufficient enough.

You have been called “The best thing in his/her life right now.” if that person really thought that you were the best thing in his life how come there’s the phrase “right now”? doesn’t that mean that you’re only a temporary relief? something that is made to be forgotten? Remember that post that I made before something about being an “ATMG”(At the moment girl) well I find it so ironic that I wrote that months ago promising myself that I would never be in this situation but where am I now? I know some people make this fatal mistake happen again. especially when their heart goes all gooey and mushy (GUILTY) but then again why does this happen to the people who don’t want this to happen?  Do they have a signage that says “COME ON OVER” even though you know you can’t take it anymore? it is a sickness. a very disturbing and at the same time, fun sickness where you can actually be in control if you want to but then again there are 2 kinds of control ” the fake one” or the ” I really want it to be my way one” be careful with both because “that’s where the line ” You are the best thing in my life.”  comes on.


Sad I know, Can’t believe I’m a cynic when it comes to these things but believe me when I say that being a cynic helps with the realities of life, Sure my castles in the air may have been blown to bits ages ago but it doesn’t mean that there was not a small portion of me hoping that “Prince Charming” will TRY to sweep me off my feet and that causes me to give someone a chance regardless of the situation. Its stupid of me but when someone really wins me over and it takes a lot of effort I give him a chance even if he’s 10s to hundreds to thousands of miles away, I remain optimistic that it will work out, I don’t know really.. there’s that silly little girl inside me who still thinks its possible for me. Even though I did say I don’t want anymore part of it. How many of you guys have ever done things and felt like this? many I’m sure even though some will try do deny it but nevertheless all of us experience it even though we don’t want too. the question is how can we stop ourselves from this ordeal? say you were in this situation would you be able to think I can make it out of this in one piece? no attachments? the answer is no you can’t but you can try to be.


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