Commitment Phobia at its worst.

Here’s a funny thought for you all…

You better find it funny but at the same time you can’t tell me how horrible I was for “ACCIDENTALLY” doing that. I never meant to, I swear! even though yes it is incredibly silly and somewhat nerve wracking if you’re reading this and you’re a bloke/lad/guy. but I should get straight to the point before you think I’m an absolute nutter.. well I am one just a little bit though.. Ok maybe not just a little bit. so to get on with what I’m suppose to be telling you here it goes, It all happened last monday…

A silly little girl(Yours truly) choked-ran to the loo-then became sick in that order when a so called charming commitment-phobic lad who’s been a friend of mine for months confessed that he thought he might be having certain feelings for me. (which until now causes some doubt in me whenever I think about it because I’m a commitment-phobic trust reluctant female with issues) now LADS if there are any of you reading this feministic blog.. Don’t hate on me I didn’t mean to react like that. I get teased enough mercilessly about it from this guy.. and  as I sit here watching Killer Karaoke I’m here wondering why I reacted like that.. is it normal? I guess it’s not because when I told my friend Will about he told me he never heard of a girl doing that his exact phrase of what I did was : WHOA. and for one word apparently it says a lot.  Maybe my commitment sickness is at a new level which is a little terrifying when you’re scared of trusting people.  but it doesn’t give me the excuse to be sick obviously.  And this is ironic considering the fact that I want a John Hughes romance and even I know it won’t happen unless I get rid of my commitment phobia. I just wish someone can tell me that I need to see a shrink for this but lord forbid, Who would listen to a young girl who’s not even in her 20s yet. I sound weird right now. it’s one of those moments where I just end up babbling bullshit online. Sue me though, this is what weirdness feels like. especially when you’re a commitment phobic freak. =)

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